Before you judge someone, try this

sent by Armando Matijevich │

Dear friend,

I want to talk about judgment.

There’s a person I’ve worked with for many years. And over time, it became clear that our cooperation simply wasn’t working – missed commitments, poor communication, repeated patterns that drained my energy.

In business, when something isn’t working, you stop.
You set a boundary.
You protect your time and your values.

But here’s the part I didn’t expect:
even though I knew I needed to end our cooperation, I didn’t feel the need to judge them.

That surprised me.

Before making a decision, I found myself trying to understand why this person behaves the way they do.
Not to excuse it.
Not to continue the situation.
Just because judgment didn’t feel helpful, or true.

And the more I sat with that, the more I realized something important:
gratitude softens judgment.

When you’re genuinely grateful for your own life, something shifts internally.
Gratitude becomes kindness.
Kindness becomes presence.
Presence becomes patience.

And patience creates space for understanding.

And here’s the vulnerable part:
I don’t always get this right.
I’m not above judgment.
Sometimes I react too fast, or too sharply, or from ego.

But stepping back helped me see what sits behind this person’s patterns:
the fear,
the insecurity,
the overwhelm
,
or simply the limits of what they can handle.

And once you observe someone that way, judgment feels unnecessary.
“Who am I to judge?” isn’t a moral slogan, it’s a reminder:

We’re only equipped to judge what we fully control.
And other people’s lives aren’t ours to control.

That’s the part I’m trying to get better at.
Not perfecting boundaries.
Not perfecting patience.
But approaching people with a little more understanding and a little less judgment.


One Line to Carry With You:

Understanding starts where judgment ends.


Truly yours, this moment.

Armando

PS

If this message made you think of someone – forward it to them.
Sometimes understanding is all someone needs to feel seen again.

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